It's A Guy Thing!
I know many of you have probably seen this or something like it, but it was just so funny I couldn't pass it up!
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible , please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape… round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible , please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape… round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
posted by Derek Linder at 9:12 PM
8 Comments:
You are so obviously not married or attached!!!! If you were you would understand the following:
1. Being CONSIDERATE ie: putting the toilet seat down so that your poor wife does not fall in when she goes to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
1. Become a MIND READER, you have to, it is a matter of your survival.
1. COMPROMISE, your wife will support your hobbies if you support hers!
1. Crying WORKS!
1. When we "just say it" don't act like you are clueless!
1. Learn to shut up and listen ;)
1. I'll give you the headache one!!!!!
1. Understand we NEED to know that you think we are beautiful, REGARDLESS of how fat we are, we'll tell you your good looking even if you are bald and round!
1. Just get us where we are supposed to be, your navigational skills do not particularly impress us!!
1. It does feel good to have someone else scratch our itches
1. We will NEVER have enough clothes, get used to it.
1. We will NEVER have enough shoes.
We are actually quite easy to please, as long as we have menfolk who don't make our lives complicated :)
Need anymore tips Derek, feel free to call!!! ;)
The question is...do you put the seat back up when you leave so your hubby doesn't have to? ;D
I took the headache one off because I just found out what it meant! I didn't get it at first!
OHHHH Derek!! One piece of advice...never read this to a future girlfriend/wife.
Don says if you have a wife someday, do NOT, do NOT let her know about point #1.
The author forgot the #1 result...staying single!!
Derek,
Toilet seats are made to be closed, they are packaged and sold with the seat CLOSED, DOWN. Toilets are meant for sitting on, it's you men that changed the way you wanted to do things.......... :)
I'll take that as a no... :)
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